One of the harder battles to face as a single mother is loneliness. It can sometimes feel like the entire world is either married or have no children. All too often it is hard to feel like you fit anywhere. Your single, childless friends don’t want to have to drag your kids everywhere, and your married friends try to act like you aren’t the fifth wheel at their couples get-togethers. While I encourage you to continue putting yourself out there and engaging in social activities, I also understand what it is like once you are home and the kids are in bed. It can be down right lonely. I know. I have been there.
It is not always the easiest thing to do, but we have to actively seek ways to overcome this loneliness. But don’t worry. There is hope! Check out these tips for overcoming loneliness.
- Pray. I know, I know. It’s so cliché. But remember that Jesus is our Immanuel, God is with us (Isaiah 7:14). He will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6). We can cast all of our cares on him (1 Peter 5:7) and know that he will comfort us (2 Corinthians 1:2-4).
- Read Scripture. David’s heart-cries in Psalms are a limitless source of comfort. Take his prayers as your own. Sometimes it helps just knowing that someone else has already prayed the words you have stored in your soul.
- Turn on some upbeat praise and worship music. We need to focus on good things (Philippians 4:8) instead of wallowing in our misery. Make a conscious decision to pour something positive into your life. Go on! Go get you some Mary Mary – Shackles (Praise You)!
- Get moving. If you aren’t dancing in your living room, then go strap on some shoes and go for a walk. Maybe you can sneak out of the house for a 20 minute walk before the kids wake up. Watching the sunrise and breathing in fresh air is the perfect time to have a heart-to-heart with your Father and let it all out. Besides, we all know the mental, physical, and emotional benefits of exercise.
- Love yourself. Treat yourself to a hot bubble bath, a long overdue home pedicure, or an early bedtime. The better you take care of yourself, the healthier, stronger, and calmer you will be for your kids. Not to mention you will be better able to handle everyday stresses.
- Seek contentment. I know that there are days when it feels like the world is stacked against you, but I promise you it isn’t. Actively search out the positives in your life and lean on Christ for strength. Paul was put through some rough stuff and he came out of it saying, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:11-13). Glean from Paul’s wisdom.
- Embrace this time for growth. Let God do his work in you. Pray about what needs to change and submit to the lessons He is trying to teach you. The sooner you learn the lesson, the sooner he will move you out of this season. Use this time to cultivate healthy relationships and don’t be afraid to try new things: enroll in a class, learn a craft, take up a new hobby, or volunteer in your community. Allow God to stretch you in new ways.
Momma, I know that overcoming loneliness can be challenging – push through! Be determined that you are going to press in to God and not succumb to the things you are feeling. You are not alone.
Any suggestions you would like to add to this list? Encourage away!
Abide in His Grace,
P.S. Next week we will look at ways to handle finances, so stay tuned!