8 Ideas for Reducing His Stress

I can’t stand it when my husband is stressed. I must selfishly admit that his stress can cause tension that is hard for me to handle. We are all aware of how another family member’s attitude can impact everyone in the house, and as the wife and mother, we need to keep our eyes on the emotional thermostat of our home. So whether it is the daily grind or there is something massive weighing on his shoulders, sometimes our husbands need a little help relieving some stress. Always start with prayer, but for a more tangible tactic, try one (or more!) of the following:

  1. Listen to him. There are days when so many people are in his ear about “fix that” and “fix this” that he does not need a sermon on how to adjust his attitude. He needs to be able to unload the weight. This is not the time to jump in with all of your wisdom to fix the problem. Attentively listen to what he has to say and be sure to withhold correction, judgment, and opinion unless he asks you for your input. And if does ask, remember to speak to him gently.
  2. Cook him one of his favorite dishes. Maybe it is a dessert, maybe it is a hearty breakfast, but the point is that you will be comforting your husband in one of his favorite ways: his tummy. The old saying the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach has stood the test of time for a reason – it’s true.
  3. Encourage and compliment him. This world does everything in its power to beat a man down. Your husband needs to hear you say that you appreciate him – and be specific! You have the power to strengthen your husband beyond your comprehension just by being the one source that builds his confidence.
  4. Work it out of him. Wait. Stop. That does not mean a honey-do list. That means exercise. Go for a run together. Shoot some hoops in the driveway. Sometimes my husband is happy just to have me in the golf cart next to him. Let him burn that stress away by engaging in his favorite physical activity.
  5. Penalty-free time with the guys. Your husband needs time away with his friends just like you do. Unfortunately, wives are notorious for laying on a guilt trip for such excursions and this negates the benefits that he gained from having guy time. To avoid the guilt trip, be sure to discuss plans before hand so that both of you know what is expected. My husband loves to play basketball on Friday nights and Sunday afternoons. Friday nights are his time to himself and Sundays he takes the kids. We know what to expect and he gets the time with the guys that he needs.
  6. Respect his space. Maybe your husband is more kept to himself. If he tells you he needs some time alone to decompress, honor that by not checking in on him every half hour. Let him know that he can come to you if he needs something. Don’t be pushy and pestering by asking him a bunch of questions. Just give him the time and the space that he needs. He will surely let you know when he needs you.
  7. Give him a gentle massage. Physical touch is important to everyone’s well-being. In a situation where your husband is tense, you are the best person on the planet to rub away the knots. And if one thing leads to another…
  8. Make love. Ladies, if we are honest, we spend way too much time neglecting our husbands in this area and it is more important to him than you may realize. Perhaps if he is tense and stressed, you might want to be the one that initiates. He needs to know that you need him and that you love him. Show him.

Husbands do not follow formulas, so help me out. You’ve heard my ideas, now I’d love to hear yours! In what ways do you help reduce your husband’s stress?

Abide in His Grace,


This post was shared with Time-Warp Wife, To Love, Honor, and Vacuum, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Messy Marriage, Marriage, Motherhood and Missions, the Hearts for Home Blog Hop, Becoming a Godly Wife, Essential Thing Devotions and A Little R and R.


17 thoughts on “8 Ideas for Reducing His Stress

  1. Take a family trip out to the country side and encourage him to get outside. Something happens to my husband when he is able to jump in the pond, ride the river, shoot guns, and get out on four wheelers. I truly believe mans heart is rediscovered in nature!!

    Love your list! Thanks for sharing!


  2. If he has asked you to do (or not do) something, respect his wishes. Create peace around him. Maintaina clean and tidy home. Don’t raise your voice in his presence or where he can hear you. Speak kindly and gently to everyone. Make him a top priority. Put him first.


  3. Ok Ladies,
    I desperately need help with this one, right now. He is a hard shell to crack and protects his heart at all costs. His grandmother is about to go be with her Heavenly Father, and he WILL NOT talk about it or show any emotions around me. Am I not supposed to be the one person he can confide and let his guard down with? He is very much a “manly-man”, you know the ones, they think it is not manly to cry or show any emotion. I need the help so very much. I have prayed and prayed for God to bring him peace and asked God to allow me to help, but I have no idea how to help. I have always been the one to be comforted and the one losing someone. And what’s more, he has some deeply rooted issues on why this is so hard for him. This is breaking my heart, to see him like this. What do I do???????


    • Praying for both of you. This is not an easy situation, but you can’t make him talk. As long as he knows you are there to support him and listen whenever he is ready, that is all you can and should do. Sometimes trying to coax people into opening up when they don’t want to can backfire and they shut you out more. Pray for him, pray for wisdom, and keep trying to cultivate a peaceful atmosphere at home where he can unwind. He will talk when he is ready.


  4. Pingback: Hearts for Home Blog Hop ~ May 1, 2014 | Hopkins Homeschool

  5. What a great post. I have used these methods as well. When I know he is particularly stressed I make sure to talk about positive things that are happening around us. After being a god listener, of course (:


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