Trip, fall, rise, step. Trip, fall, rise, step. So goes the cadence of my walk with Christ. Each day I find it a struggle to live out this life of faith. I open my eyes every morning with the intention of speaking only words of kindness, not being sarcastic, and imparting beautiful nuggets of wisdom to my kids. I make a detailed plan of how much of my Bible I will read, how long I will pray, how long I will study a writing of spiritual value, what exercises I will do for my back rehab, and when I will take my shower. I plan on filling my home with peaceful music, lighting a soft-smelling candle and getting all of the day’s chores accomplished before the hubs comes home. Because Today I will finally get it right. And then I get out of bed. Now this is not to say I am making light of my failures, because I most certainly am not. I am just being honest.
My day starts to derail the second I open my mouth. My tongue is the worst thing in world to get under control. Perhaps that is why James told us, “The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” (James 3:6) Before my sweet husband even walks out the door, I am sure to complain about A) how early it is; B) how poorly I slept; C) the pain radiating down my nerve; or D) my current state of coffee deprivation. On most days the correct answer would be E) all of the above. And that sets the tone for the morning.
What gives? I had a pastor tell me once that being a Christian was easy, that it isn’t hard for a cheetah to run or a fish to swim because they were designed for it, just like we are designed to walk in communion with Christ. I don’t buy it. If that was the case, why would James tell us our tongues were set on fire by hell? Or 2 Corinthians 10:5 warn us to, “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” If we didn’t have incessantly wayward thoughts and words, why would we need to exercise such caution? And why is it so easy to let my mind – and shortly followed by my mouth – run wild and free?
trite easy answer is that I totally lack discipline and/or I need to submit this area of my walk to Christ. Ok, this much is true. I am nowhere near as disciplined as I should be, and I am working on that, too. Each time I fail, I confess, repent, and try again, but I seem to always stumble and fall once more. Surely this isn’t supposed to be this difficult. But worse yet, nobody seems to be able to tell me how to allow Jesus to work in my weakness. I doubt you just throw your hands heavenward in defeat. I pray about it and make a conscious effort to prevent myself from saying things I don’t want to. Even the Apostle Paul admitted his struggles in saying, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” (Romans 7:15) Oh, Paul! I so get it! So how do I get this under control? Do you struggle with the totally ungraceful toddler wobble that I do? Let’s talk!
Abide in His Grace,